Lee's Strange Day
by L. R. Wolverine
Summary: Everyone knows Rock Lee is a strange shinobi, but what happens when things get TOO weird, even for him?


Everyone who knew the green spandex-clad taijutsu specialist knew he not what you'd call normal. He was different in the best of ways; he was full of youth, determined, kind, and not to mention cute. The gleeful shinobi was striding down the warm Konoha sidewalk, a little hop in his step as his blue zori tapped the cement.

'Such a wonderful day...' he thought to himself contently. The sun shined between the buildings, striking the citizens who wandered the streets. Lee was holding a bouquet with pretty roses, carnations, iris, and baby's breath bound together in a pink wrapper. This gift was very special, it was for Sakura Haruno.

You would think after being rejected as many times as Lee had been he would give up love altogether (wouldn't you?), but no, Lee pursued the pink-haired kunoichi, trying desperately to prove his love for her. Actually, Sakura was the only girl that fit his circumstances.

He didn't want to date any jounin, that would be weird. He always had thought Lady Tsunade was nice, but he had to remember that she was like sixty, and she was going out with Jiraiya. So, Lee was left with the five chunin kunoichi. Temari? No, Gaara (despite being Lee's best friend), and Kankurou would kill him. Ino? No, she was shallow. She had made fun of him, pointing out that he wasn't suited for tight spandex with his 'small package', so the Yamanaka had been a write-off for him. Hinata? No, Neji would pressure him so much, he'd screw up on the first date somehow. She was also too quiet for him. Like she was always afraid...TenTen? No, she liked Neji. Neji had a superiority complex. 'He needs help with that.' Lee had once suggested.

As Lee crossed an intersection, he saw his demon-possesed redhead friend sitting on a bench with a strange, thoughtful smile on his face. 'How strange for Gaara-kun to look so happy. That is a wonderful schange for him.' Lee said in his mind, waving to Gaara.

"Hello, Gaara-kun! Good morning!" he ran up to him. A strange wave of emotion, like realization, swept Gaara's face as Lee approached him.

"Hi, Lee. Who are those for?" he said less-than-enthusiastically, looking down, poking a rose's blossom.

"Oh," Lee held them higher, "Sakura-chan. Do you think she will like them?" he asked, but Gaara unexpectedly clutched his green shirt tightly.

"Forget that slut, Lee." He ordered and kissed Lee passionately. Lee's eyes grew as wide as dishes. He pulled away after a second.

"Gaara?! What the fudge?!" He yelled, wiping off his mouth with his bandages. "Why did you kiss me?!"

Gaara blushed. "Lee, you are SOOO sexy when you're mad." he outlined Lee's eyebrows gently. Lee furrowed them.

"What?! Stop!" he pulled his head back, but Gaara tackled him to the ground with a thud, and straddled him.

"Lee, I could give you anything you want. AN-Y-TH-IN-G..." Gaara moaned, pulling in for another kiss. Lee tried to scamper out from under him. "I don't want anything!" Lee cried. He pulled away from Gaara's gaze. To his horror, he felt something under Gaara's clothes brush against his leg. He pushed Gaara off and stood. He picked up his flowers for Sakura and ran off in a mad dash.

"Wait...I must have you, Lee..." Gaara opened his gourd and his sand took after Lee. "Come back!" The sand almost grabbed Lee's ankle, but he ran as if for his life.

Lee looked back after a minute or so, thank goodness he couldn't see Gaara or the sand coming. He brushed himself off, and continued on his way. He hummed 'We Will Rock You' softly as he saw some of his friends. Maybe they could help him. Maybe they knew what was with Gaara. Shino, Chouji, and Kiba were talking.

"Hello, my youthful friends!" He waved and approached them. A couple of his flowers were bent in half.

"Hey, Lee. S'up?" Kiba asked. Akamaru barked, as if asking as well.

"Well, funny thing, actually." Lee laughed nervously. He was about to step closer, but Shino immediately stopped him by stretching out an arm. He pointed down. A cockroach was crossing the sidewalk under Lee's foot. After is was safe, Shino recoiled and asked, "What funny thing happened?" Chouji nodded, his mouth filled with chips. Figures.

"Well, I was on my way to give these to Sakura-chan..." he held up the flowers, "But on my way I saw Gaara-kun and I said hello. Then he tackled me and kissed me. Do you guys know why he might do that?" But Lee got no answer, as the three before him were staring at him and the flowers.

"Lee, has anyone ever told you that you are cuter than my bugs' ears?" Shino asked thoughtfully.

Lee's face reddened. 'Oh, no...' He shook his head, his bowlcut bouncing slightly. He stepped back.

"...or that you're beastly?" Kiba asked, his eyes narrowed, a smile on his face. Akamaru yapped in agreement. Again Lee shook his head. "...no..."

Chouji swallowed his chips, "Or that you look good enough to eat?" Lee glared at him.

"Well, I gotta go. See you guys later..." he said nervously and turned to go.

"Don't go, babe." Shino suggested, stopping Lee. Insects creeped from his sleeve onto Lee's shoulder. Lee flinched frightfully.

"But I really have to..." Lee said sternly, and took off. "Get 'em, boy!" Lee heard Kiba call. Akamaru barked and leaped at Lee, sinking his teeth into the ninja's ass. Lee bellowed in pain, but kept running, the three were gaining on him. After a few seconds, he felt Akamaru drop off his butt. He looked over his shoulder. They had all stopped. He stopped too, looking at his flowers. More had the ends broken off.

"What in Konoha has gotten into them?" Lee asked hastefully. He soon saw another group, a quartet if you will, of his 'friends.' Naruto, Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru.

"Ummm...hi, guys." He started, but froze when they all looked to him in a hypnotic gaze. He ran without a reply, now being chase again.

"Get him! He's so cute!" Neji ordered.

"He's better than instant ramen!" Naruto exclaimed, diving for Lee and missing. He hit the concrete.  
"How...untroublesome..." Shikamaru said thoughtfully, then yelled and performed the hand signs, "Shadow possession jutsu!"

Lee dodged, and Shikamaru fell over Naruto, causing the shadow to hit Sasuke. They fell in a heap, and Neji landed on Shikamaru's head.

'I knew he was Sas-gay.' Lee thought matter-of-factly as he ran. He stopped after a while and looked back. Something was coming. Lee turned a corner, thankfully seeing his sensei's small home. He stumbled up to the door and knocked violently. Gai opened the door, and Lee fell inside.

The taller figure shifted his weight. "Lee, what's the matter?" he asked, helping the boy up.

"Some very strange things are happening, Gai-sensei!" Lee cried frantically, waving his arms. The flowers wer almost completely destroyed.

Gai's eyes widened at the flowers, and he stepped closer to his mini-me. "What type of things?" he asked hauntingly.

Not Gai-sensei, too. Lee scratched the back of his neck. "Well, everyone I have seen today has been, well...trying to 'get' me. But like in a sexual way. And only the boys have been doing this. Must be some youthful homosexual virus going around." he suggested.

Gai simply nodded, and stepped closer. "I wonder why..." Gai drawled, trapping his student against the wall with his arms. "Who are those flowers for?" he asked.

"S-sakur-" but Lee couldn't finished, he was interrupted with a kiss. He tried to push away, but the jounin was too strong. The larger green man drug the smaller into the bedroom. Lee was yelling frantically 'Let me go!', but it was useless. Lee felt himself being stripped of his spandex, a feeling overcoming him. It was like pleasure. A feeling he hadn't felt before. He was helpless. The flowers dropped to the carpet.

Lee awoke frightfully, sweat pouring off of him. He cried put, what a terrible dream. He wiped off his face, and looked around. Startled, he noticed Naruto, Sasuke, Neji, Chouji, Shino, Kiba, Shikamaru, Gai and Gaara were surrounding him on the couch, gentle looks on their faces.

"It's okay, Lee. It was only a dream." Gai patted his arm.

"Really?...You were there." he pointed to Sasuke. "And you..." and he motioned to Neji. "All of you were there. I was trying to give Sakura these flowers...and I met each of you...and you wanted to have s-sex with me..." Lee shuddered.

"Really?" they all asked in unison. Each took a step of slunk closer to him. "How preposturous." Neji cooed.

They all reached for him, like zombies. "Thank goodness that was only a dream..." they all assured him, smothering him with touch and kisses, leading him to his bedroom.

END. 


End file.
